Is It Worth Having A Long Distance Relationship?
28 Jan 2017
Love is one to be actually respectful with. As if a gun were, we need to know how to pull the trigger correctly or it could be fired in our own face. At the same time, it can bring us down to hell or back to heaven.
Love is one to be afraid of. Depending on the traces it leaves on us, we would look upon it the next time with more enthusiasm or less. Certainly is where once there was love there was also pain.
And whether we know or even myself the true meaning of love, we all surely have a saying on this matter, as we have been through this rollercoaster of emotions once or twice in our lifetime.
Knowing this, there is only one thing left to do for us, and is to take care of it, protecting it. The same way Americans would lock down their guns in order for their children not to find them, the same way we try to avoid prosecution everyday in order not to spend the rest of our time incarcerated.
However, it is a totally different ballgame when having to separate from each other throughout the length of a year or even a couple of months. Whereas it can be just a “so-seemed bearable” distance within national borders or instead, leaving a whole ocean in between, we will always find some difficulties when approaching this situation for the first time or even the following ones.
Truth is, especially amongst youngsters coming from countries in southern Europe, it raises the so-discussed issue regarding settling down in a place we can be happy at and secure a job of our taste. I know it could be a lot to be asking at these times in this our world, if it were not because it is almost everybody’s very own purpose, or at least most of us’, or so I do really believe.
And hence we find our ambitions in life crashing with trying to gain the attention of somebody we know he/she might well worth the effort. In such scenario, it is not only crucial we have our priorities defined but that our partner understands them. And again, in such an unavoidable case as the one concerning youths in southern Europe nowadays, we would only be left with having to gain others’ professional recognition abroad first, far from our warm-hearted people and everything which represents our country and for which we all stand.
This could be discussable though, but we will all agree that in order to become well-specialized in our field of expertise we will eventually be put in the situation of having to leave our comfort zone and, as lucky as that could be staying in the same place, normally it will involve moving out and somehow having to unleash you from everything that holds you onto somewhere.
Hence again, we need to really wonder if the person we are about to make such an effort for it is going to be worth the place in our heart. And sometimes, it is not only up to our heart to make that decision. Sometimes even love would not be enough. Most of the times, we need to know if that person is going to prioritize the fact of him or her being compromised to us. And this is one heck of a strong word (and pardon my French, need to really emphasize right here): compromise.
It is not only about knowing that whatever you decide to do as far as your sexual capacity might be concerned, but that normally you would have to satisfy some expectations from the other self. And that should be easy, one might think. However, especially in the recent days, it is quite casual for adventurous ‘fellas’ like us to fall in the misconception that all we need is love in our daily life, whatever that could be translated into simply physical realization or in the form of a text message. But that is exactly the thing. How different can both be?
“Isn’t it hard being in love with someone who is not here?” said Princess Margaret to Philip in the so-well illustrated TV series “The Crown”. Indeed. And as far as distance might interfere with our appreciation of the word “love”, we are not to hold onto it and act surprised if we eventually realized this is not the kind of relationship films depicted. Whether we want to feel important by overrating the idea of love among our community or that we truly believe it will work as far as it depends on us, it will always require both parts to be equally compromised or at least come to some terms in which they both can be satisfied. That way, ends would be able to meet.
What plays a significant role in these relationships (most of you might be thinking by now) is to know the person effectively in a wide range of situations as well as his/her reactions. It is certainly easier within distance to confuse intentions or messages rather than when being physically connected in the same place. Plus if we were unlucky enough to get to know that real someone while distant, we would most likely tend to exaggerate every single tiny thing and normally in the worst possible way.
Also, what really creeps me out is the image of ourselves we involuntarily create when these situations occur. If we expected to be the most trustful selves in the whole planet, we would easily find that changed overtime and now, trusting each other does not constitute a simple task anymore. Furthermore, and as mentioned above, distance will always tend to create confusion about matters this sort.
This turns out to be easily realizable when approaching friends or relatives whom we trust and addressing them with questions like: “Have I changed much in these past couple of months?” “Have you seen something on me which you have not before?” “Did something about me really upset you recently?” By doing this, we would get to understand how beneficial the relationship itself is being for us.
If I sounded too cracked above, what I am about to state in the next few lines will radically change your mood for the rest of the day.
We, ourselves, are complex beings (and thank God for that, even being an atheist myself). That says, we are not expected to choose whom we might fall in love with. That would be stupid reasoning. Are we, by the same meanings, supposed to know what we are to achieve with our degree in a matter of years? Are we sure enough that those friends, the family we choose, will support us all through, never changing their mind about it? Are we even sure of what we will be doing this time tomorrow?
My point is, there is no such great thing as NOT planning ahead your life, especially with matters which attain your heart. And that is one of the most wonderful things ever happened since the Big Bang.
The person you meet in the next few months/years (being positive) will decide much of your attitude towards different situations which will definitely come up in your life, like them or not, and you may have to pick up “those pieces and rebuild yourself”. Man/Woman up. And you will be set free again.
The worst-case scenario: he/she will show you what you really do not want in your life. And that my friends, is way further that you will probably go by staying in the same place, blocked, undecided, and damaging yourself or worst it could be, your own beliefs. Same beliefs which would eventually move you towards one direction or another. To one place or another. To the person you are to stick to or not.
If it isn’t life a dream, then what are we making out of it?
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